WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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