am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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