uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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