Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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