On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
