Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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