he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
