I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
