so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
