i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
