How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
