Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
