Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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