You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
