I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
