i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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