If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
