I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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