the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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