Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
