You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
