someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
