he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have aggressive nipples.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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