it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
