White coat. Heels.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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