I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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