he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
