you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
