Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just invented taco cereal.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
