3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
