No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
