hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
