I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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