I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
