now i know why i became what i already was.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
