There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
