I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
