I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Mom said you looked used
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
