My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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