I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
