I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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