Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
