you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
