The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
