honey bunches of taint.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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