quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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