i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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