How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
