Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
