Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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