I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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