My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
