doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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