You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
